Baggage

In the month absence from my Nook, I've been thinking about baggage. I guess living out of boxes scattered around a 325 square-foot apartment will do that to a person.

And all I can think is that this is my good baggage.

In an attempt to start anew on this next chapter of my life, I got rid of every possession reminding me of certain places and people I am better without (even if my heart refuses to feel it.)

I am left with:

• several boxes of books
• one large box of CDs (which would be double if not for Iggy the iPod)
• six garbage bags of clothes
• one suitcase of shoes
• a few stuffed animals
• one lovely real animal named Izzy B
  
• my violin and some art
• a plastic tote with all my newspaper and magazine bylines
  
• a set of sheets and an air mattress (but I just got my new bed, YEAH)
  
• several blankets that were gifted to me
  
• one very old television and a set of rabbit ears
• two boxes of dishes and cookware
• a traveling case filled with files
  
• one small box of photos, playbills, and old letters
• and of course my laptop and cell phone
  

While a lot of these things are necessities or good sentiments, I have to wonder at what point does good baggage become dead weight? Despite my best efforts to start fresh, I still feel like I'm carrying around a lot of stuff I threw away or sold.

I've realized there are just unpleasant experiences and people who come into our lives that we'll never forget, even if they only end up being a small footnote at the end of one of many chapters. No matter how many dumpsters we fill, or yard sales we have, the memories will never be fully forged from our brain.

I guess that's a good thing. Otherwise we'd end up living our whole lives feeling like something was missing because we wouldn't know the difference between happiness and sadness.

Granted, it's scary as hell to recognize and deal with the bad baggage we carry with us, but I think it's an important thing to do. Sure, we'll never get rid of it. But facing it will give us courage to move forward, hopefully with a clear head, so we can make yesterday's heartbreaks the happy endings of tomorrow.