Friday, July 13, 2007

Moving Forward

How odd is it that what is believed to be one of the most unluckiest of days of the year fell within the same week of what was supposed to be one of the luckiest days in a 100 years?

Luck or no luck, I'm moving forward and have made a fantastic mix to celebrate my feeling of freedom. Like all of the mixes I make, the songs have a general theme tying them together. What is different about this mix is that all of the songs are arranged by the lyrics that speak the most to me rather than the flow of music. It was a little experiment, and I have to say I'm quite happy with it.

This is also the first mix I've made for myself. All of my previous mixes were made for friends in need, saying hello or goodbye, and guys that eventually broke my heart. So, without further ado, here is to Moving Forward:

1. So Long - Guster
"Yes I'm blue, but from holding my breath, like I have from the start. I'm the villain and I should confess, I liked you better before."

2. Far Behind - Social Distortion
"Your narcissistic ways have gotten the best of you, so I'm leaving you to sink in all your glory. ... Get out of my way, I've got better things to do."

3. Domino - Van Morrison
"And if you never hear from me, that just means I would rather not."

4. Blacking Out the Friction - Death Cab for Cutie
"I think that it's brainless to assume that making changes to your window's view will give a new perspective."

5. Let Him Fly - Dixie Chicks
"It took a while to understand the beauty of just letting go. 'Cause it would take an acrobat, and I already tried all that. I'm gonna let him fly."

6. Go Ahead - Rilo Kiley
"If you want to hold onto the first girl that you meet, or if you want to settle down and plant roses at my feet, go ahead. ... If you want better things, then I want you to have them."

7. Fidelity - Regina Spektor
"And by protecting my heart truly I got lost in the sounds."

8. Ageless Beauty - Stars
"Cruelty makes its holes, but on the shoreline time will hold its promise."

9. North of Heaven - Edwyn Collins
"Things can only get better. What's around the corner, who can tell? I'll build a little place just north of heaven, I'm kinda tired of living south of hell."

10. The Resistance - Sam Roberts Band
"I was born a restless soul. I never did what I was told. That old fire rages on."

11. I Will Be Free - Nil Lara
"For many years I've been held inside this wishing well."

12. Breakdown - Jack Johnson
"You can't stop wishing if you don't let go of the things that you find and you lose and you know."

13. Free To Decide - The Cranberries
"And I'm free to decide, I'm free to decide."

14. Whatever It Is - Ben Lee
"So wake up and do it. Whatever it is, just do it."

15. Stand - REM
"Think about direction, wonder why you haven't before? Now stand in the place where you work. ... Think about the place where you live."

16. Hands - Jewel
"My hands are small, I know, but they're not yours they are my own. ... In the end only kindness matters."

17. Downhill From Here - The Frames
"So let go of the wheel, and forget how to steer. It's all downhill from here."

18. Someday - The Strokes
"Tables they turn sometimes."

19. She's Got Her Ticket - Tracy Chapman
"And she'll fly, fly fly ..."

20. Sunshine - Matt Costa
"Sha la la la la la la la"
(I have to admit that this last song was really only chosen because it makes me completely happy and giddy - mostly because I have a huge crush on Mr. Costa. But I rationalize this choice by the fact that the whole point of the mix is about moving away from darkness and into sunshine.)

Sunday, July 8, 2007

10 lucky insights into life

There was a lot of talk this weekend about the lucky powers 07-07-07 was to bring. I even heard from a lady this weekend that more than 43,000 people got married on Saturday just for the luck factor.

Of course, I don't know the complete validity of the lady’s statement, or anything about her other than she’s a baby boomer who’s married to a man who loves to read as much as her, and neither of them can throw their books away. However, what I do know is that meeting her on 07-07-07 was a lucky coincidence because she and her husband bought three bookshelves from my friends and me at our moving sale.

Anyway, all this talk of luck and the fact that most of us will only experience an 07-07-07 day once in our lives got me thinking of all the insights into life I was lucky enough to gain this year. So, here they are:

Nessa's 10 lucky insights into life between 07-07-06 and 07-07-07

  1. The hardest thing in moving on is letting go of any guilt, hurt, anger, love, hope or expectations that hold us back either professionally or personally.

  2. Mending a broken heart is easier the second time around - especially when there are friends and family helping you put it back together.

  3. Rumors may spread like wild fire - but they can only destroy your dignity if you let them.

  4. Discontentment is a warning sign that there's a sharp curve ahead in the "Journey of Life" Road, and ...

  5. ... having the courage to steer into the curve keeps us from getting stuck in a rut.

  6. True friends are those who care to point out your dysfunctional behavior.

  7. There's something to be said for only dating men who have real beds.

  8. Doubt is a weed that can strangle us if not plucked early.

  9. Death and existence are evident, living isn't.

  10. Finding home means finding yourself.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

luck - n. the force that seems to work for good or ill in a person's life

I've never thought of myself as a superstitious person, but on Friday I realized how much attention I give to impulse wishes made on shooting stars, yellow stop lights, and digital clocks turning to the hour of 11:11.

Even though very few of these wishes have come true, at least to my knowledge, I keep making them.

The impulse wish that caught my attention on Friday was made while walking to the final interview for a new job in Seattle that could open many doors for me both professionally and personally.

As I was walking to the interview, I noticed the latch of my necklace had moved to the front and was touching the sparkling gem that the chain was holding. So, I held the latch and thought of how much I wanted this new job and the new life it could bring about for me. I guess it wasn't really a wish I made; just more of throwing a thought out to the universe and hoping it heard me. Then I moved the latch to the back of my neck and kept walking.

While I make a lot of silly and impulsive wishes on random things, wishing on necklaces is something I put a little bit more thought into, because every piece of jewelry I own has a special meaning to me. This particular necklace came from my acting coach in New York, JoAnna Beckson, who I lovingly refer to as my Manhattan Mama. I wear the necklace and matching earrings, which are very simple and silver with just a hint of sparkle, to every big interview and occasion in my life.

Shortly after wishing on the necklace, I looked down and noticed the chain of it had broken and the sparkling gem was nowhere in sight. I looked up and down the sidewalk from the point where I had made the wish to where I had noticed the necklace was broken. The whole time I kept thinking, "This isn't good. This isn't a good omen at all."

After several minutes of looking like a scatter-brained lady searching the sidewalk, I gave up and continued walking to my interview while nervously fiddling around with the broken chain of my necklace. That's when I remembered about a girl I met at theater camp one summer who wore a very fragile and frayed bracelet on her wrist. She said it was a wish bracelet, and that once the bracelet fell off it meant the wish she made when she put it on would come true. Granted the idea of the wish bracelet came from the imaginative mind of a 14-year-old girl, the thought brought comfort to me in losing the sparkling gem of a very special necklace.

Then, right before I went in for my final interview, I decided to straighten out my suit and the sparkling gem fell softly to the floor. All I could think was, "This is good. This is definitely a good omen."

Low and behold, I was officially offered the job yesterday and will be moving to Seattle before the end of the month to start my new life. So, I think I'm going to keep wishing on little things and walking through every door that opens for me. That's how I've lived my life so far, and have walked through enough doors to have traveled all the way from one ocean to another.